Striving or Settled
“I’d rather be striving than settled.
I’d rather be moving than static.”
These sound like romantic, idealistic words. They are perhaps dreams that many of us have. But when it gets down to it, being unsettled is hard. Being on the move is hard. 
I am currently truly without a permanent address. We gave up our flat in Hong Kong. My family moved house in England. And in the USA we are tourists. When we came through immigration, I was absolutely stumped as to what to write as my “home” address.
Arriving in the USA, in all of its established glory with perfect suburban lawns and double refrigerators, has only increased that strange feeling of being rootless and base-less. It is not a feeling that is foreign to me - it’s a theme in several songs of mine and has permeated many chapters of my life. It is not even a particularly negative feeling. But it is definitely uncomfortable. It is daunting, unsettling, unconventional, stress inducing and humbling.
We are relying on friends, strangers, savings and optimism. We have plans, but not too many. We are going where the invitation is, where the opportunities are. It has to be this way, so that we will succeed. But it is uncomfortable for the mean time.
My husband often says, “being comfortable makes me uncomfortable”. Basically, if we’re all settled and everything is dandy, we’re probably not pushing ourselves to achieve anything new. We’re not taking any risks. And that is not where we want to be - we have definitely not achieved everything in life that we want to - not even close! So to start making those things happen, we have to start getting uncomfortable. We have to, in our case, give up some security, put relationships on hold, sacrifice comforts and other projects. We have to pack the most essentials into a couple of suitcases and leave everything else behind. We have to eat rice and beans. We have to humbly ask friends if we can stay with them. We have to sleep in our car. We have to be without a home.
But, the one thing that makes it all worth it is that we are striving. We are moving towards something. We are creating, experiencing, collaborating, journeying. We are doing what we believe we should. And aren’t all those little sacrifices worth that?! What is the point of living securely and comfortably if there is an ever slow-burning ache in your belly that won’t let you enjoy it... That calls you to something more...
Answering the call to give up something to take hold of something greater is a noble thing... as long as we do it for the right reasons. Don’t do it because someone else wants you to. Don’t do it without research. Don’t do it to impress. Only take the leap if you are truly convicted. For me, I won’t feel right before God and with myself if I don’t do more with what I have. And my husband is my ever-strong partner and encourager and motivator, and feels the same convictions about his life and talents.
So, yes, I would rather be striving than settled. It is uncomfortable. But in some ways, that is my comfort.
[lyric excerpt from Shattered and Hollow by First Aid Kit]